You know, I have had people over the years (who don't know of my past) who have questioned why my health seems not to be the best. Especially when I am a healer (amongst other things) and help others.
It is very easy to judge someone when you don't know their background or what they have gone through. We all do it, its human nature.
I have been healing and was ill for many years. I was assaulted in the Military 20yrs ago and suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well as neck, jaw and back injuries. That alone is not a small thing and affects your whole life.
I've also had Influenza A, Glandular fever and Chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia. All hit the immune system and takes years to heal. There are a few more things I have had but these will do for now.
Add onto that I was addicted to 5 prescriptions drugs that I detoxed off 4yrs ago. And it takes years for the body to recover from the toll it takes on the physical body.
Also add onto that for the past 15yrs or so I have been peeling off emotional layers going back to childhood and in the womb, let alone past lives as well.
Its amazing I am still alive after all that I have put my body, mind and soul through. But alive I am. And stronger for it and am healing.
I had a career in the military when not many females were in. I did all I wanted, I bunjy jumped, parachuted, went overseas, hot air ballooned, climbed Ayers Rock, went on the Variety Club Car Rally and more.
I have lived a full life already and now am retired. And am thankful for all I have done as I am a mum and here are the biggest lessons to learn about ones self lol.
I don't have a need to do what a lot of females are doing as I did my bit. I don't feel I have missed out on anything, as I did what I wanted when I was younger.
So now this time is for me. For me to put myself first and continue to heal from all of these things I have had and been through.
It has been a long road but one that has a light on it. Why? Because I know what I am here to do and what my purpose in life is.
And that is to use all I have learnt from all I have been through and healed in myself, to then be there for others that want to help themselves. I can't do it for them though. But I am here for those that want a light shed on where they are in life and how to deal with what they are going though.
I am writing my book at the moment. And during this time, when ever I want to see some friends, it just doesn't work out for many reasons lol.
I was given a message that I am to pull away from everyone and look after myself and my energy. My soul knows what it is doing and where it is going.
My head still wants to see friends, but alas, time and time again, it just doesn't eventuate. I am now listening to what I have been told. I have become a recluse and you know what? I am fine with it.
As now I am finally able to start to plan meals and run my home as I haven't been able to for many years, through poor health.
I am making slow but sure progress and it will be like this for another 6months roughly.
I know people mean well when they ask me out. I know people mean well when they know I have spent all weekend in bed and say 'look after yourself'. If they only knew, I am better than I was. And am the first person to look after myself. 'Me first, in an unselfish way' is one of my sayings. It is themselves they need to look after and be concerned about.
It is kind of like a patient going to a Dr and asking them have they taken their medicine today lol. Like I said, I know people mean well, but when you have been doing what I have for so many years, it is like I am at university and people are at kindergarten and the pupil is telling the teacher to look after themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I don't know it all, by no means. The more I learn the more I realise I don't know lol.
But gee it kind of makes it hard to have friends who truly know who I am and what I am about. Hence me writing this here. I am not sure if this is the kind of thing to put on my blog. But do you know what? Its my blog and how I really feel.
Much love and light
Anastacia
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