Extract from my book the Blue Beyond..

Hi Spiritual family,
 

Yes it has/is a time of introspection. Very deep and old (past life) energy has come up to be purged from our soul. And we need to reconnect to a part our ourselves that has been shut away from years of hiding.
 

This has had to do with someone/something close to your heart, something that has needed to be faced. When I say something, I mean a calling or what you are meant to do on your souls journey that is close to your heart and soul.

We are reforming our new family is the info I was just given as writing this. I know we have been forming our spiritual families, this is different though. Sit with this info as I trust what comes

I have been through many processes over the years. And this one I have just recently come out of is beyond words as to how huge it has been. As sometimes there are no words when you experience a process of such magnitude.

 

It is very life changing and about being in a new space........

I have written out the main processes I went through last week to share here. And this will also be going in my book. I want to share it here so you can get a bit of an inside glimpse of what I go through and what I am about.

A little background before you read it. I have spent years and years working through layers to do with my sister and mother, this lifetime and past. I have chosen not to have anything to do with my sister and do not see her or talk to her.

I was recently invited to her 50^th birthday party and my soul made a commitment that even though I do not want to talk to her, if a family occasion came up, I would be the bigger person and go. As it is not an obligation, it is an opportunity to heal and grow. As I have forgiven and thanked her soul as I chose my birth family in this lifetime.

Family is the toughest to work through emotionally as it is so close to our hearts and we cannot and are not able to NOT be close, even if we may not see them or have anything to do with them, we cannot escape the connection our souls and hearts have in this lifetime.

In my book 'the Blue Beyond' I have written a lot of what else I have been through and cleared over 17months. And this recent process is the final clearing/healing of my connection, at this level. As there are many levels.

Here is my writing and what I have experienced.:

DAY ONE - A.M.

What an interesting week. From when my nephew Rick called to say there is a surprise 50^th for my sister and my mum is coming up from NSW, boy oh boy, little did I know what was I was going to experience.

I was shown in a vision that the week leading up to the party I would be being prepared and will be releasing to be able to handle going. I was shown a vision of walking up a hill and when I got to the top there was a massive ball of light that I would be walking into.

In the week prior leading up to the party, I had been having dreams and lots of little processes of releasing were constantly going on deep inside.

I had to pull my energy away from everyone, even Michael and Joey on this one as I needed all my energy going into me. This was very different from my usual pulling my energy in and can't really describe it.

 

Then I hit a point where I started to feel deep deep pain in my heart and soul. It gradually built up to the point my heart and soul was in so much pain, for two days I wanted to get out of my skin is how I put it.

I was coping well and wrote on the Blue Beyond that I was in a process and would be off FB for about a week as 'me first'. It took me a few days until I was actually physically ready do it though.

So this was a new experience as in the past I would be laid up in bed (having had Fibromyalgia and other ailments). However this time I am well and didn’t have to.

In the past, when I had given out so much, my health would let me know and then I would pull away and rest up. This didn't happen this time, as this was a new experience. This time I was well and could interact and help people, without getting 'sick' or burnt out. It was a conscious pulling away while feeling well.

So underneath in my soul bit by bit more stuff was coming up until I did all I could. The pain was so great, I couldn’t bear it any more. Then I had to use Thought Field Therapy - TFT - tapping, to release emotions that when you have done all the therapy and releasing you can and the pain is still trapped in your energy field or thought form around your body.

So I tapped Love pain and as I did it I could see all this black gunk thick and lots of it being released from my soul (as I see the energy being released when I tap). Then as I was at the end of the tapping, tears came and I could see my little girl (inner child) with her arms to her right out stretched....missing her sister....I was surprised and cried as this was buried so deep and didn’t know it was there.

She wouldn’t let me hold her and so I just held her hands in front as that was enough. Then straight away, up came grief. Grief for the loss of the family closeness we had in the past, all of it hit me in waves.
 

P.M.

So that was big for me. Then I was talking to a Spiritual sister/healer and shared, she then offered to come over and do a chakra balance on me. My head was not in a space to know but my soul resonated with her words, so I said yes that would be good.

 

It was an hour before she could come and so I lay down. My body was buzzing all over and I was counting the minutes down basically till she came.

 

She lay me on my bed sidewards to the end so she could balance my chakras and then sit at my head and worked on my jaw (TMJ for 22 yrs and for past 1 ½ yrs constant aggravation and cracking and adjusting and was over it and asked for a healing earlier on that day).

She was balancing my chakras and when she came to my heart I could feel like liquid pouring in. Then she started to work on the trigger points in my jaw. She first started at my back, shoulders then neck, slowly working her way up to my jaw.

We got close to the main sore bit (as many sore bits along my jaw) right under my ear at the joint, as she released, I then had flashes of past lives one after the other of me yelling and screaming to be heard, flash after flash. I shared this with her.

Then as she got to the main area and pressed, slowly a dark mass or memory or something as I have not experienced this before and can't quite find the words to describe what I saw and felt, was coming closer. This was like a huge shadow of energy, old, coming its way towards me. I could feel it coming and had not encountered this sort of thing before and it wasn’t frightening beyond that, I went a bit numb. It was like a dust storm of dark energy coming my way and I was watching it come.

Now at this point, she knew and picked up on my energy as I couldn't say anything. Then as she was standing behind me with hands on my jaw, she leant forward and touched her forehead to mine and as she did, I surrendered in trust with reassurance as she was with me and I let go and it passed and released.

Ahh now I get I was hanging onto it or something, or I had to surrender and not hang on and control for it to pass. Just now got that I had to reach the end of hanging on to the pain in my jaw, 22 years is long enough. And 18months straight of strain (so much so that later she said it went on for so long, my ligaments in my jaw are not strong enough to hold in place so we are working on strengthening them).

So after the day of the TFT, the girl missing her sister and grieving my old 3D family life and then the healing and what came was that this was what a BLUE BEYOND day - as this name was given to me many years ago.

DAY TWO A.M.

Next day I got up. I felt I needed to get out and have a coffee down town. I txt my spiritual sister Nik, she wasn’t available. My spritual sister that did the healing called and I said I needed to get out and have a coffee, she said she was doing bits and pieces. I could feel in my soul that I needed to ask her to come. So we organised for her to meet me in town and pick me up and go in one car to a coffee shop near the water overlooking the boats.

Meanwhile I had to go and pay my car registration before we went for coffee. I had my pensioner card for military discount as last year bought a new car. So I went in, took my card and handed it to the lady and she said, we don’t accept health cards....I said politely this is TPI you don’t get any higher than that and she said its not the right info we need....I started to feel upset....Why?

Because I was the first female in Australia to get my health card for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD from when assaulted in 1991 while serving in the Airforce, when not many females were in).

And because I was the first female, a new law was created for me in the Australian government as I was setting up something new.

Now I have had this card for 15years. And because I was the first and unique, when I first needed to use it when I went to medical appointments, time after time where ever I went I was questioned as to who was the military veteran etc. And so after a while it became stressful to keep explaining.

So, back to paying for my car registration. The lady then went to ask someone about it. I felt myself wanting to break down and lose it there and then. And then suddenly..... my PTSD came out.

It caught me unaware. I had to detach very quickly as I observed what was going on inside of me and calmed myself down, I breathed and then looked around at some posters nearby and read them to get me out of it to cope. I prayed to my angels for help big time. I actually physically took a step back from the counter to do this.

Then when she came back she was smiling and gentle and a different person and approach, phew, close one, Angels came through.

Now, in the past, I was in a Psych ward, 3 times in one year in fact back in about 1992 when I had an episode, just so you know. It was an escape and I would hide and that was what a PTSD attack did in the past, to what I can cope with now.

Now onto having the coffee - So, not thinking more of it as I am coping differently and so well nowadays, my friend came and we went for coffee. As we waited she got out her mobile and showed a text (from her sister who lives interstate) earlier that morning asking what was she doing for the day and we chuckled, as she picked up on us, as us three are close spiritual sisters.

We had a chat about family and I said how I felt I would be okay on Saturday and had dealt with as much as I could head wise. Then she shared about her family and how she would feel and think differently when with them and I said will I do the same, yes she said. Then I have been kidding myself I said and it was good as then I could feel myself finding a balance inside.

Then now I look back I could feel myself starting to slowly sink down.

As we got up to go, I rang a number on my mobile, she said are you calling my sister lol as the three of us are so connected. So I put it on speaker and she spoke and her sister was upset and could hardly talk. She asked were the kids etc. all okay, once that was established I took the phone off speaker and spoke to her myself. She was upset and right in the middle of not coping.

As she shared a bit I then asked her to close her eyes. When I do this I then visualise I am that person and called in AA Michael and got the blue sword and tip in the crown down to solar plexus and cut from 12 o’clock around, as I did this, it was quite thick and like I was peeling off a shell. Did this and cut and release and brought violet flames up. Then I put protection around which is a new method I call the God dome. Calling four angels in is not unique to me. But the dome and how I do it is.

I call in AA Raphael in front and see him there, AA Gabriel to the rear and see thick beam of energy connect from crown chakras to form an arc of energy. Then AA Uriel to the left, AA Michael to the right, then the big beam of energy from one crown chakra to the other. Then rise above and see a cross and say 'God dome of protection as above, so below' and the arcs then flow underneath as well. So then you are in a ball with two bands of light vertically and horizontally around.

The feeling is pure protection. She felt it asap and could breathe and talk and was a different person. I have been doing this lately on people and the responses are quite amazing. Each person says wow and cannot get over how good and safe and how they can feel it.

I then had to go and told her to keep bringing her strength in as could feel she could keep doing her thing now.

P.M.

Then I had to go and get Joey from school. As I parked and waited, I felt like bursting into tears again and could feel I was detaching and going into a shell, similar to in the Department of motor transport but not as intense. I Called my friend and spoke to her briefly, then shed some tears to release the tip, thank God for that. As in the past when I pushed it back down, took a whole day to re come up and was more painful.

Joey had Occupational Therapy at 3.30 and I couldn’t go, just couldn’t do it. So I bravely called them and said I was not well and we couldn't make it and they were great about it, I apologised for the late notice and said to say sorry to Marga the OT.

Joey got in the car. Told him we weren’t going and he said 'oh mum, I have been looking forward to this all day' and then I started crying (first time I have done this with Joey). I said I was going through something and I can't do it today and I usually do stuff like this with him. He then said its okay mum, you usually do, its okay. He was a darling about it. I couldn’t hide this from him this time as so much I have hidden that I go through as its been quite a lot. I told him I am human too Joe and I feel things first to then help others its what I do and part of who I am.

Oh forgot to say on way to coffee, Michael rang and told him my PTSD kicked in at dept of motor transport. Now Michael knows what that meant in the past. In the past, it would be straight into bed and wouldn’t have been able to pick up Joe.

Back to Joey – We got home and I told Joey today please don’t argue this is not a day for what I am going through, don’t give me a hard time and he took it on as raised his voice and then calmed down for me.

After homework I had to get out, wanted to go to the bank and pick up my new glasses that were ready. So off I went and it allowed me to clear a little.

I came home and who came home early Michael lol. I then said I needed to go for a walk, my soul was itching to clear my head and I always always get clarity on my walks and hadn’t been for a week or so.

As I walked a little insight came, just enough for the door to open. What I got was Dead End. I could see a dead end wall right in front of my eyes. I could feel it was a dead end in a good way...the end of the emotions was all I got at that stage, that was enough for me to sit with and take on.

I came back from my walk and sat outside with Michael. As he sits back and just monitors me when I am going through a big process. And then I slowly wanted to talk, he was reading the paper and then I said I want to talk a little now, so he stopped looked at me and I said no, keep reading, I know you listen lol.

So that allowed me space to just feel and take my time to share. So I started to share about last night and how in the last vision after that darkness went through, I could see flames and how I was in London when it burnt. And how my soul just had to go to the tower of London in the nineties. And when I did the energy was so intense and pushing on me and now I know why I had to go and how I wasn't into conscious spirituality then but I knew what I felt. And so reflected on that.

I said to him I am done with any more of the past emotions to do with my sister this lifetime, my soul has had enough and cannot and will not do any more, there is no more for me to give. (In regards to all I had been through with my sister and family and the years of layer after layer of peeling and feeling and then healing. Many times suicidal in the past and took an overdose once).

Then he got up and I then picked up my mobile as got to text my friend and update her what had happened. And so my soul sent her a text which I will share here, as I keep reading it and feeling the info that came straight from my soul.

“Just sharing, I have insight now, have reached a dead end i.e. the end of the emotional traumas from the past with my sister, it is done and can't do any more this lifetime, that much I do know, this was that big, fill you in later'

I sent it and then looked at what I wrote, like for the first time. I then read it out to Michael, he put his hand out for a high 5 and I got up and we hugged and I sobbed and sobbed and he said its over, you are done, you got there. I was sobbing and saying I cant do this any more, I am done. I could see Joey inside watching us.

Then I rang my spiritual mum Elaine as had to share as she has been through so much with me and my family for so long.

She said she couldn’t do what I have in this lifetime and was so loving and supportive for the processes I had been through. And said you do know that it's time for your happiness and on Saturday you will be fine and happy. About time I said as I am due as recently I re brought joy in. As I used to be very happy many years ago as a child when I detached into my own world...ahhh more insight

Now I can have true happiness while not being detached by being 'me'......

Had dinner and then had a brief chat to my friend and shared verbally what I text to her.

Then I spoke to her sister as her son wanted to talk to Joey. As she txt me later on in the day (after the cord cut and protection) and I reassured her about something with her son.  She then text later and said he was fine now. Basically he was picking up on her energy and when we did the cut and protection, he felt it and was fine, just brilliant how it worked and how much he picks up on her. And how just that brief few minutes of the cord cutting and protection, was all she needed. But then again, she did say she was a mess for a few days and had done all she could to help herself and got to the end, desperation point and then I rang. So she was very ready and had done all she could herself.

She thanked me deeply and shared how we are so linked and how the three of us get on so well and how close her sister and I are and she said how great we help each other and she feels a part of us and I said she is lol all that good stuff. I am helping my friends sister where she is unable to as she is too close basically.

So I went to bed at about 8.30 watching television.....is all I remember as I just fell asleep.

DAY THREE A.M.

I woke up around 3am and lay there but had to get up.

And how do I feel now? A beautiful calm and emptiness, in a great way, lighter is probably better, lighter in my soul, free...these are the words coming to describe. And I am watching the sun slowly rise.....

I just got up and went to look at it rise and the words came “A new day for the rest of my life”. Yes every day is this, yet this is the message that my soul felt energetically.

I tuned into how I could describe how I feel....calm and peace down to the bottom of my toes encompassing all my being...

P.M.

After my friend did the stretching and trigger points on my back, neck and jaw, by late afternoon I was in a lot of pain. Spoke to her and she offered to come and do a massage on me to help ease the pain.

So at about 6.30pm she came over and set me up on her massage table.

My dog Cammy came and licked my right hand while lying there, then later my cat Princess rubbed up against my left hand and at the end Scruffy rubbed up into my left hand as well, amazing animals....

So, as she started I was so bruised in my tissues, she couldn't work on me. Then she stopped and did a balance/healing with her pendulum.

I then asked could she talk to my body as it was blocking her as my physical body (I have learnt over the years my body has its own mind to who it allows in for any treatment/healing) needs to give people permission to massage it.

She got what I meant and as she massaged she verbally explained how the lymphs needed to be cleared to let the blood flow and chatted on about the process. This then allowed my body to understand what was being done. Then I worked in with her, energetically. I saw little balls of light go into the areas she was massaging, this was new and different the way little balls of healing light came in. So then she was able to work on me as that 'bruising' was no longer there.

She worked on me for about 1 ½ hrs. Towards the end after I turned over, I left my body. Because I remember waking up and reconnecting when she spoke and said something to me. It took me a bit to come back from where ever I was. Then after she left, I went to bed.

DAY FOUR A.M.

I slept well until about 4am. She txt at 5.30am reminding me of something, which she has not done at that time before. I then text back. This connection had to be made for a reason, read on....

I got up and had a cup of tea. I wanted to get up and do washing etc., but didn’t want to wake up the boys. I decided to watch television in bed instead as I was wide awake but tired too.

Not long after I fell asleep. I dreamt. The dream is sketchy and in bits and it was a real dream as I was there astrally.

I was moving back into a house I had lived in once, in the late 1980's. I remember my blue ray friends were with me. There was a spirit in the house. I went walking around the house with one person and suddenly I levitated upwards, I could feel it. This has only ever happened in one other dream.

I remember being very frightened and had no protection.

Then I was walking and turned around and going out the front door were two large half human and half slug like creatures on the floor going to slide out, their eyes glowed and they were dark brown and had huge heads.

Then I saw under the house was a door with a yellow light coming out, I went in and it was another full house underneath. And in one room the walls had frames all over it, with pictures or something in them. I said Michael did this for me as he knew I would like it, or something like that.

Then I remember being outside and there was a long building down the right hand side and half of one on the left, with old fashioned half windows that were open, but it was dark inside and remember thinking I can't go and check and cleanse them all.

 

I woke up, still feeling frightened and very very rattled. I couldn't think or focus as I sat outside with Michael.

I shared with him my dream. He said that I had released the darkness from my soul (that I had collected in my emotions) on the other side of the veil from how ever many lifetimes.....was gone now....

And when I shared this with my friend, she said I had to experience what I did, bare soul with no protection to face it to release it.

DAY FIVE

This was the day of the Party. I received information I couldn't hide or detach. And I was shown and felt I was going back in time and the little girl was now coming out of hiding with her family and was not actually able to detach this time. And she had to use all her knowledge and experience of 47years and trust and be herself.

And so I did. I danced and laughed and was happy, for hours. I remained true to myself and kept things light.

DAY SIX

I then had a vision of the dead end and it had cracked open and I could walk into the light....I was through......