Well I have just had a shift from where i was at in my last blog.
You know how it came to me before that I was getting that I was to write what I was going through somewhere on the internet for others to read? Well I get it now. When that information came to me I acknowledged it but it sort of freaked me out a little as well. As to share what I go through each day is putting myself out there and sharing my inner workings. But as I said, I accepted that information as I always trust what comes.
Earlier on today I was sitting out the back of my house in my little sanctuary that I have set up and my attention went to my notebook PC sitting on the table next to me. I felt an urge to just get on here and write, and so I did. It wasn't much, just a general outline of how I have been feeling for the last week or so, since the Lunar eclipse actually. As it brought in a huge wave of energy in that has really rocked a lot of foundations.
Anyway, since I wrote what I did I could feel a release! And then I could see what had been going on for me in the last week. You see I have had an interesting week of challenges spiritualy and I have been going through all sorts of emotions. For starters I have been releasing a life time of hurt from past relationships. It came up as it was time for it to be released and make way for the new energy coming in, as I have found the more tuned in spiritualy someone is and with their emotions, the more they feel the energy shifts taking place.
I have been feeling angry, sad, depressed, stressed and confused. Yep I think that about covers it lol. Usually I am feeling positive and coming from peace and love, so when thats not the norm, I really feel it. I was finding that my ego was really joining in with other people's energies and I was starting to interract with that energy. Yet being used to coming from a spiritual perspective it threw me out as it sort of crept it. The ego or the head will do that you know and I am only human.
So I have been frustrated as I know not to come from ego and come from the heart with love but a part of me was joining in. So then I wrote how I was feeling and then because that post sent my energy out to the world, it is like the answer was then able to come in.
I was sitting here and reading and I took a moment and just stopped and I saw that I was putting my energy into a space that no longer fits. And because I did, my energy started to join in to the ego games that are played and so I was re feeling old feelings of inferiority, jealousy and emotions that are so not usually me and certainly not what I want to feel anymore, as we do have a choice by the way.
I then saw myself rise up and back from the situations I have recently been in and then peace flowed back into me and I made contact with my soul again, what a relief. Even though there are things in my life I am dealing with in the background, as that is part of us finding our true selves, heading for further enlightenment, I feel so relieved as I can see what was happening and because I have the knowledge of what to do I can do it and do it I have.
I have been on my conscious path for about 15years I can say confidently. I used to say 18years but that is a guess and I need to be completely honest to my soul and so I will say 15yrs. And I have been learning living and growing spiritualy through lots of different courses and have had many people who I have learnt off along the way. I have also linked my emotions to my spirituality and have been peeling off layer after layer for all of that time as well as that is the key and what I am apparently bringing out to the world.
In the past, spirituality was really spoken about as we who did would be classed at nuts so I kept the true me to myself and to those of a similar wavelengthe. But most people didn't understand and therefore would knock me down and so I learnt in a hurry to keep my personal spirituality and growth to myself, as I am a very sensitive person and I kept getting hurt over and over.
And what I have done is realised that as my energy is different to that of most others, it doesn't fit into the old world running of ego and negativity. It is a feeling of being unable to be around others and feeling very uncomfortable as I can feel everyone's feelings and where they are at and their energy levels as I am no longer in that space.
So in realising this I now know that I need to choose more carefully where I put my energy and who I put it around. You see recently I have found that my life as I knew it and how I feel is not the same, as I recently went through spiritual shift and have found myself in a very different space and am still feeling my way into it. If you don't understand what I am talking about, don't worry about it lol.
So, I wont be going out where I used to and this is new to me as part of me still wants to go but my soul is unable to and then it comes down to is it worth going to the places I used to and feeling all of those old negative feelings? Well I can tell you the answer is no, emphatically now. As it is not worth feeling all of those negative feelings again, it makes me not want to be on this earth, that is how strong it is. And so as I have said, I raised myself up and above and can see from love what is going on and I am now stepping back from a lot of things I used to do and a lot of places I used to go.
When I was a little girl an Angel came to me in a dream and held me. And my dad told me years ago I was not like the other kids in my family, I was 'special' like my mum. And I know my reason for being here and what I am to do in life and that is to share and teach what I have experienced. As what was told to me in my first writing here with having my spirit guide drawing done.
And just for a coincidence, in numerology I am a master number 11, whose life purpose is to hit the world stage lol. Aww you gotta have a laugh at times and not take ourselves so seriously as now I look back at my last week of what I experienced I now know where to take my energy and where not to. And it is a case of me now accepting who I am and where I am in life and that is that. It has taken me a bit though as I have had a lack of self confidence, something i have had most of my life. And yet now I have now gained a lot more. Bye for now.
Much love and light
Anastacia
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